Double Dongs
by NovianWitchHunter
Summary: When Karkat and Sollux take a walk around the meteor, Karkat finds out something he wished he never knew. What is it? Sequel to 'Why Karkat and John are not allowed to babysit'. That's right. I'm bringing it back.
Okay, so a lot of people apparently liked my 'why john and karkat should not be allowed to babysit, story, so I thought I'd continue with the videos to fanfictions thing. If anyone has a Homestuck video they want me to write, please tell me in the reviews. Now DISCLAIMER: If I were Andrew hussie, I'd have all the fandom bitches. Just saying. Also, I do not own the video or comic that the video VAed.

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It was a normal day. Or as normal as you could get on a metor in the middle of the veil. The main protagonists of this story were just taking a nice walk in the halls, enjoying each other's company. Haha, yeah right. We both know that that's bullshit. These two would rather be in the main lab room, browsing the internet, coding, trolling, or having a self pity party. But no, someone decided that their behavior was extremely negative and they needed to a walk to calm themselves down or something. This seemed like bullshit to the both of them, however, the one that told them to take a walk was a woman that they both feared when angered. A woman, that when she tells you to do something, you do it or you just might not make it to the next night. A woman, who put fear in to all that she is near when angered or upset. This woman, was called Kanaya Maryam, and when Kanaya Maryam tells you to go for a walk, especially when she's holding her chainsaw-lipstick, you get your ass the fuck out of there. The two poor assholes, Karkat Vanvas and Sollux Captor, had just finished walking around the meteor and looking around the thousand of rooms in which the meteor held. They were about to walking into the main lab, just right in the door way, before Sollux and made _another_ two joke. And finally, after two fucking hours of jokes, Karkat finally snapped.

Karkat stopped in his place, finally sick and tired of Sollux's shit. Sollux instantly stop as well, a cocky smirk on his face.

"Sollux, you massive douche! Stop making lame 'two' puns, that shit was never funny."He snarled at the gemini. He was seriously getting sick of all those dumbass jokes Sollux kept on making.

Sollux rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "You theriously need to calm your tit'th KK. 'Double Dangth' are my thing. Bethideth, bitcheth love thingth in twoth."

Karkat thew his hands up. "Fuck, shut up!" He screamed. "You are so full of hoofbeast shit. 'bitcheth' do not swoon over your lame ass 'double dangs'."

He glared and pointed his finger at his hate-friend. "In fact, your lame-as-fuck jokes are probably what's making Jack go on a murderous rampage. That's how _bad_ they are."

Sollux's smirked again. Oh if only KK kknew the truth. Might as well tell him, could be hilarious or horrifying. What does the Gemini have to lose?

"Well they thure swoon over my... heh... double _dongs."_

Karkat groaned with frustration. Again with this shit? " _Augh!_ What did I just get through here?! Nobody like your shitty double d-" he blinked. What said the lisping grubfucker say? "Wait...your...what?"

Sollux chuckled at that. He then pulled off his bi-colored glasses. "KK."

He opened his eyes for Karkat to see just how serious he was. Also to see Karkat freak the fuck out. "Did you ever th'top to think there wath a reathon AA, FF, and Ampora, all wanted to be in a quadrant. With me?"

It took Karakt a couple of seconds, thinking about. And when he finally realized, he wished he hadn't. His face turned into one of horror. "Y...your joking... right?"

Sollux swiftly put on his shades. "Come on bitcheth, let'th go blow thith thingular joint."

In an instant, Feferi, Eridan, and the robot form of Aradia appeared by his side. Sollux wrapped his arms around Feferi's and Aradia's shoulders, turning around and walking away while Feferi glubbed and Aradia beeped. Karkat had a face full of pure terror.

"Come on, ladieth."

" _Nyeh!"_

"You too, Ampora."

As Sollux and his bitches walked away, Karkat was trembling. When they were finally out of sight, he just realized what exactly just happened. "Yyyyy...YYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed.

He was still screaming as Gamzee came over to see what was wrong with him. "Hey, best friend, what's got you flipping yo wicked shit?" as he was saying this, he honked one of his horns that he always carried around.

Karkat took a step back and clinged to the juggalo, trying to explain but also trying to understand himself. "T-there's two of them!" He let out a weak laugh. " A-and those bitches y- THOSE BITCHES and... an...YYYOOOOO!"

He clung himself closer to Gamzee, starting to make him feel uncomfortable. "THREE BITCHES! THREE!"

He started to cry transparent red tears. "IT WAS THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

It took the work of four romcom movies, and a bunch of shoosh paps to calm karkat down. This was when Kanaya realized that she really needed to stop trying to meddle.

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I regret nothing. Again. Witch of Blood, out.


End file.
